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1.
inexplicable things
that we sense
like wings fluttering
in the shadows

or chest rising with the effort
of feeling

crystal chandeliers
so fragile in the wind

shards of memory
piercing the stillness
and screams silenced
with agony

the lashes to our eyes
hurt and bleed

come again
and wound me

so close to breaking
I can see the cracks.
they widen
and begin to disintegrate

the holes patched
the pain "forgotten"
(as if things
like that can just go away)

I see light
cold and clear through dry eyelashes
whispers in the ink
and music that sings


2.
inexplicable things
darling and sweet
unmistakable
…and there

I see the light in your eyes
I hear your warm heart

I know your thoughts
…I feel you here

there it is
on the raven's wings:
happiness…
on the feathers of pain

I can see the black
far away

but always close
as a dream (nightmare)

I am not lost
I can see beauty
light is fun to watch…
dancing in the eddies

hands are warm
inviting and open
new for me and my still heart
who are you?

a new word is mine
never mine before
glass – fragile with color prisms:
happy.


3.
inexplicable things
so incomprehensible
and wrong
opposite and backwards

impossible to understand
I don't…

a paradox
brows furrowed

flashes and color
exploding
rampant, run wild
and be beautiful

yes or no?
stutter in silence

numb and trapped
words with no explanation

behind the scenes
a fairy (or elf?)
pulls the strings
marionette or voodoo doll?

highs and lows
intense beyond measure
tears and smiles
either or, or even together

what is this creature?
the piano plays on
rising notes
in question
inexplicable things
of inexcusable nature,
unidentifiable creature,
and unthinkable torture.

we three
illusive be
hiding identity
in mystery














What did I do right? wrong?
Anything unclear? Are the images understandable? Is there anything confusing?
Can you feel the emotions? What ones can you identify?
And...what are "the three"?


EDIT:

=DrippingWords was sweet enough to suggest and feature this as a DLD here: [link]! Thank you, my friend!:squee:



EDIT 7/14 Hear me read it here!:heart:
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The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconzummerfish:
zummerfish Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
fantastic imagery! the use of language is sublime :clap:
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student Writer
Oh thank you so much!:D
Reply
:iconartfreak959:
artfreak959 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student Writer
wow, this is a wonderfully complex poem! I love the comparisons that make it so interesting! "behind the scenes/a fairy (or elf?)/pulls the strings/marionette or voodoo doll?"

seriously, this is wonderful and I really liked it!
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you very much! I'm glad you found it interesting and enjoyable:XD:
Reply
:iconartfreak959:
artfreak959 Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student Writer
you're very welcome!
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Apr 1, 2013  Student Writer
:heart:
Reply
:iconohhaiitssonja:
ohhaiitssonja Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Keep on doing what you do, you're good at it!
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Mar 31, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so so much!:D
Reply
:iconmetall-engel:
Metall-Engel Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is a really amazing poem, I absolutely loved it. It's quite clear to understand the progress from one part to another, like telling a story with emotions. I especially love certain metaphors, "glass – fragile with color prisms:", "pulls the strings
marionette or voodoo doll?" and "the piano plays on rising notes".

I like the breaking of the stanzas, it flows well. I can't say there is anything I don't like about this poem. Brilliant work!
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Student Writer
Oh thank you very much!! I really appreciate feedback, so thanks for taking the time to comment!:heart: And thank you for the fav!:D
Reply
:iconmetall-engel:
Metall-Engel Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
No problem, I really liked your poem :)
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2013  Student Writer
I'm so glad!:heart:
Reply
:iconjowishwuzhere2:
JowishWuzHere2 Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
I love this. You did an amazing job. I love your wording and mystic feeling.
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you so much! And thank you for the fav!:D
Reply
:iconsuphyx:
Suphyx Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is amazing! I'd be honored to know what you might think of my work. This was very good. :)
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Student Writer
Oh thank you:aww: And thank you for the fav! I can take a look at your gallery:)
Reply
:iconsuphyx:
Suphyx Featured By Owner Mar 29, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
You're most welcome! :D I'd love it if you did.
Reply
:icontravelgirlxx:
travelgirlxx Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
Great job.
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!:heart:
Reply
:icontravelgirlxx:
travelgirlxx Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013
:heart:
Reply
:iconyaoicrazy:
YaoiCrazy Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Hobbyist Artist
Beautiful! :clap:
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!:heart:
Reply
:icondailylitdeviations:
DailyLitDeviations Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013
Your wonderful literary work has been chosen to be featured by DLD (Daily Literature Deviations) in a news article that can be found here [link]
Be sure to check out the other artists featured and show your support by :+fav:ing the News Article.

Keep writing and keep creating.
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jan 27, 2013  Student Writer
Oh my:heart:....Thank you so much!!!:love:
Reply
:iconeclecticquill:
EclecticQuill Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
It's very good :) I'll write a critique for you at some point.
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you!:D
Reply
:iconeclecticquill:
EclecticQuill Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
No worries :) I'd do the critique now, but I'm doing other stuff, as well as dA :)
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Oh no worries! lol I'm glad for any and all critique:D
Reply
:iconeclecticquill:
EclecticQuill Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Cool, I will get to it though, I promise, you have my word :)
Reply
:iconmistressofquills:
MistressofQuills Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
Ok, cool:D
Reply
:iconeclecticquill:
EclecticQuill Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2013  Student Writer
:)
Reply
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January 2, 2013
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