Help Me Out? (Commissions Now Open)

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I know it's pathetic how I've barely been on here recently... I know EVERYBODY says this, but I really do wish I could spend as much time on here during the school year as I do during the summer:tears: College is hard, bitches=P 

ANYWAY! So, I've been having an infuriatingly hard time finding a part-time job here at school, and I ended up sending out about 15 applications (it's a small town, so that's a pretty big number) and only getting 4-ish replies back. Of those four, I only got hired by two - for a combined total of what will be less than 10 hours of work per week.  Yes, that's bad - at least, it is for me.  I wanted to be working between 15 and 20 hours per week this year...

So since I'm already more than a month into the semester, I don't think continuing to fruitlessly search for more jobs is the way to go. There aren't going to be that many open (especially since obviously the places I already applied to won't be available), and I'm really sick of searching and getting rejected...

So here's what I've decided to do: I'm going to write. Yes, it's that simple:aww:  Why not? I AM a writer after all, and writing for a living IS what I want to do as a career after I graduate, so why not try my hand at getting published (and paid!) right now?

I've already been searching for publications that have submissions requirements that fit my needs and preferences, so that's going well.  But then I thought of you guys - why not open up commissions again on here too?  So my commissions are now officially OPEN.  Please refer to my commissions journal for details and rules, and note me with your requests: mistressofquills.deviantart.co….

Ok, and here's the "Help Me Out?" part: I have a story that I started quite a while ago, and it's good starting material for a longer story that I'm thinking about submitting to this publication I know. I've uploaded what I have so far on here (it's called "Patient - Part 1"), and I'd like to get a whole bunch of opinions about it before I try to start writing more of it.  I haven't done any editing since I uploaded it, so it's in its original form: mistressofquills.deviantart.co…

I'M OFFERING PRIZES TO EVERYONE WHO WRITES AN IN-DEPTH CRITIQUE OF THIS PIECE (USING THE CRITIQUE FUNCTION ON THE DEVIATION).  Each person who does that will receive: a llama (if I haven't already given you one), a feature (you choose 5 pieces of your artwork and I'll leave the feature up on my page for at least three weeks), a critique (in-depth) of one of your pieces, and a watch (if I'm not already watching you)!

BUT PLEASE KEEP THIS IN MIND: I would like the questions I have listed in the description of the piece to be a guideline for your critique. Those questions are important because I'm looking for specific feedback, not only general opinions (which are also valuable, but I want more than that).

Sorry this journal ended up being so long, but thank you for reading, and I look forward to working on your commissions and reading your critiques!:squee:


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